Today I bought a box of storebrand frozen fudge bars for my snacking pleasure. I must say they are delicious. As I was slurping one down I read the box, which is what I frequently do with the food that I prepare or eat. Under the bold heading of “12 Fudge Bars” it said “A Quiescently Frozen Dairy Confection”.
What? Quiescently? Really?
Now, I may just teach preschool, and maybe I’m a little on the “blonde” side of things some days, but that statement made absolutely no sense at all. So, being a teacher I grabbed my trusty dictionary and thesaurus
Definition of Quiescently: adj. inert, inactive, dormant, quiet, sluggish
So in a sense I guess it could be correct, since fudge bars aren’t known for their activity. It is also true that fudge bars are frozen, so that may be why it’s a sluggish dairy confection. I’ve also never heard a fudge bar talk. Fudge bars are indeed motionless, unless being moved by something else, so I might agree with it being an inert dairy confection. However, I’ve never known that a fudge bar could sleep, or possibly be waiting to develop into something bigger and better like a fudge brick on a stick. Could the 12 fudge bars truly be a “A Quiescently Frozen Dairy Confection?” Is it possible?
Although I do wonder if they meant to say “A Quintessential Frozen Dairy Confection?”
Nah, it couldn’t be. I must have it all wrong. Fudge bars aren’t a classic, ideal, typical or standard frozen dairy confection at all, are they?
Something to chew on besides a fudge bar, perhaps.
Mrs. V
I do believe they meant for it to be “quintessential”. But still it’s funny how they used the wrong word for it.
By: patriciaholdenmd on May 6, 2008
at 9:04 pm
I’m still trying to figure out how to pronounce that….
By: Julie on May 6, 2008
at 9:09 pm
Maybe you should lend the copywriter for the fudge bar company borrow your dictionary.
WC
By: writerchick on May 6, 2008
at 9:20 pm
I’m betting you’re right that it was supposed to be quintessential. I wonder why they just didn’t go with delicious or satisfying or something else that would seem to appeal more to the masses? And anyone with a dictionary?
By: debra on May 6, 2008
at 9:24 pm
Well, it’s a relief that they didn’t have to lure the fudge bars into the freezer and fight them to the death .
By: Former Frontier Editor on May 7, 2008
at 4:55 am
You are so my sister… I was peeking at some job listings, recently, and one mentioned the ability to proofread and edit – the spelled ability without an “l” on that bullet. I about died laughing, but I’m sure I’m one of the few who caught it and cared.
By: RC on May 7, 2008
at 9:07 am
I loved your post. I once worked in a daycare center that had a sign by the knives that said “knife’s” and it drove me crazy every time I went in the kitchen. In my family we have a game where we look for typos in menus every time we go out to eat — and we almost always find more than one. But quiescently frozen dairy confection? That’s so moronic it’s beautiful.
By: kiri8 on May 7, 2008
at 8:19 pm
[...] off-topic post about ice cream bars, and the use and abuse of the English language. Check it out here. [...]
By: Illiteracy over at the ice cream factory « Elbows, knees, dreams on May 9, 2008
at 1:08 pm
And I just realized I forgot my “y” on “they.” Oh good grief…
By: RC on May 11, 2008
at 10:37 pm