Defining a Frozen Fudge Bar

6 May

Today I bought a box of storebrand frozen fudge bars for my snacking pleasure.  I must say they are delicious.  As I was slurping one down I read the box, which is what I frequently do with the food that I prepare or eat.  Under the bold heading of “12 Fudge Bars” it said “A Quiescently Frozen Dairy Confection”.

What?  Quiescently?  Really?

Now, I may just teach preschool, and maybe I’m a little on the “blonde” side of things some days, but that statement made absolutely no sense at all.  So, being a teacher I grabbed my trusty dictionary and thesaurus

Definition of Quiescently: adj.  inert, inactive, dormant, quiet, sluggish

So in a sense I guess it could be correct, since fudge bars aren’t known for their activity.  It is also true that fudge bars are frozen, so that may be why it’s a sluggish dairy confection.  I’ve also never heard a fudge bar talk.  Fudge bars are indeed motionless, unless being moved by something else, so I might agree with it being an inert dairy confection.  However, I’ve never known that a fudge bar could sleep, or possibly be waiting to develop into something bigger and better like a fudge brick on a stick.  Could the 12 fudge bars truly be a “A Quiescently Frozen Dairy Confection?”   Is it possible?

Although I do wonder if they meant to say “A Quintessential Frozen Dairy Confection?”

Nah, it couldn’t be.  I must have it all wrong.  Fudge bars aren’t a classic, ideal, typical or standard frozen dairy confection at all, are they?

Something to chew on besides a fudge bar, perhaps.

Mrs. V

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10 Responses to “Defining a Frozen Fudge Bar”

  1. patriciaholdenmd May 6, 2008 at 9:04 pm #

    I do believe they meant for it to be “quintessential”. But still it’s funny how they used the wrong word for it. 🙂

  2. Julie May 6, 2008 at 9:09 pm #

    I’m still trying to figure out how to pronounce that….

  3. writerchick May 6, 2008 at 9:20 pm #

    Maybe you should lend the copywriter for the fudge bar company borrow your dictionary. 😉
    WC

  4. debra May 6, 2008 at 9:24 pm #

    I’m betting you’re right that it was supposed to be quintessential. I wonder why they just didn’t go with delicious or satisfying or something else that would seem to appeal more to the masses? And anyone with a dictionary? 🙂

  5. Former Frontier Editor May 7, 2008 at 4:55 am #

    Well, it’s a relief that they didn’t have to lure the fudge bars into the freezer and fight them to the death .

  6. RC May 7, 2008 at 9:07 am #

    You are so my sister… I was peeking at some job listings, recently, and one mentioned the ability to proofread and edit – the spelled ability without an “l” on that bullet. I about died laughing, but I’m sure I’m one of the few who caught it and cared.

  7. kiri8 May 7, 2008 at 8:19 pm #

    I loved your post. I once worked in a daycare center that had a sign by the knives that said “knife’s” and it drove me crazy every time I went in the kitchen. In my family we have a game where we look for typos in menus every time we go out to eat — and we almost always find more than one. But quiescently frozen dairy confection? That’s so moronic it’s beautiful.

  8. RC May 11, 2008 at 10:37 pm #

    And I just realized I forgot my “y” on “they.” Oh good grief…

  9. jodes22 September 11, 2009 at 10:48 am #

    OK, I know this is an old post, but I LOVE stuff like this…

    So, here’s the answer (if you didn’t get it before):
    http://www.howstuffworks.com/question499.htm

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Illiteracy over at the ice cream factory « Elbows, knees, dreams - May 9, 2008

    […] off-topic post about ice cream bars, and the use and abuse of the English language.  Check it out here. […]

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